AND NOW FOR A VTB QUESTION...
Those little yellow balls that are floating in jars of pickles. What the hell are they?
The first to answer correctly wins my eternal gratitude...and the contents of that Buster Brown shoebox in the back corner of my closet shelf.
The first to answer correctly wins my eternal gratitude...and the contents of that Buster Brown shoebox in the back corner of my closet shelf.
posted by Sal DeTraglia @ 7:58 AM
18 Comments in the VTB Chat Lounge
18 Comments:
Cumin seeds?
It's a no brainer - they're mustard seeds!
But let's change the contest rules: if I win, YOU get the contents of the Buster Brown shoebox in the back corner of MY closet shelf, OK?
Mustard seeds (yellow, not brown)or they could be coriander seeds. Coriander seeds, turned yellow by the coloring in the pickle juice. I think dill seeds are long/eliptical and cumin seeds are long/eliptical & furrowed instead of smooth.
But, if they turn out to be coriander seeds, I think I'll look a gift horse in the mouth, and ask just what is in the box?
I haven't seen the back corner of any of my closets in years. Maybe you'd want one of my (much larger than a shoe box) boxes in exchange...
-- DJG
Well...this leaves me with quite a dilemma. Both Wisconsin and Germany are big pickle-eating areas. The only difference between the two is that Germany eats its pickles with much better beer. Wisconsin says "dill" (hence, the "dill" in dill pickles), whereas Germany says "mustard" (hence, the "mustard" in mustard gas...sorry, I'm still bitter about WWI).
Who is correct? I have no idea. This isn't a quiz. It's a question of personal interest. I haven't eaten pickles since I was a kid. Then, a few months ago, I was in Warsaw on business. We were having dinner in a restaurant and there was a dish of pickles on the table. I thought, "Pickles! I'd forgotten how much I like these little bastards."
So I've been buying jars of them since. I finished a jar two days ago and dumped the liquid into the sink so that I could recycle the glass jar. All these little yellow balls came spilling out of it. It thought to myself, "What the hell are these?"
Thus, today's post.
DJ Jazzy G sides with Christina on the mustard seed theory. However, I believe (if I remember correctly) that he lives in Ohio. Ohio is the state responsible for Bush's second term victory, so DJ Jazzy G's credibility suffers because of that.
Leslie (a newcomer to our fair VTB) guessed cumin. I can say for sure that they're not cumin seeds, because my spice rack if full of them and the look differently.
Wisconsin and Germany have spoken. Are there any Poles or Russians lurking out there?
Trust me, those are mustard seeds. I'm a closet botanist. :-)
Both dill and cumin seeds are brownish and pointy at both ends.
The thing that bugs me most about all the pickle eating (we have two jars in the fridge right now, as if one wouldn't do just fine) that goes on at our house is that my husband always dumps the remains of the jar in the sink and slinks off leaving ME to scoop up those little yellow balls and whatever other bits of vegetation they put in there. Eeew. I hate that.
Are Polski Ogorki pickles called by that name in Poland too?
Hey! That's guilt by association!! You disappoint me. I hope these help:
BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD
Crawford, Texas -- A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.
The flood began in the Presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept. Both of his books have been lost.
White House press secretary Scott McClellan said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one.
The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit a Methodist Church outside Washington. Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like.
We'd gladly make $100,000 contribution to the church if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
Bush shows up looking especially smug, and as the sermon progresses The Bishop begins his homily: "George Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But, compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."
George Bush meets the Queen of England and asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom.
"Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "Well, your Majesty, that would be me."
"Yes, Very good," says the Queen.
Bush goes back home to ask Dick Cheney, his Vice President, the same question.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Cheney, "let me get back to you on that one."
Cheney goes to his Advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's
shoes in the next stall. Cheney shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me?"
"... Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Cheney smiles, and says, "Thanks!"
Then, Cheney goes back to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Cheney and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb?
The answer, of course is 10!
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb.
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: " Light Bulb Change Accomplished."
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
8. One to viciously smear #7.
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
http://www.l33thaxor.com/bush/view/Bush-One-Finger-Salute.wmv
-- DJG
I love pickles. We are out so thanks for reminding me to get more... And see what a conversation I miss from being 10 hours behind you guys...
I'm not the first, but I know they're mustard seeds. Definitely not cumin, not dill seeds or anything else. Gimme 5 Christina. :-)
So, mustard seeds it is. Plus, a smattering of Bush-bashing (which I'm sure goes over well with Canadians).
As for the contents of that Buster Brown shoebox...well, I won't tell you what it is. But I will tell you that I bought it from that Japanese guy in "Belle de Jour."
Sal
Canadianswiss - Yes! We are obviously pickle connoisseurs.
But I think Lisa in Wisconsin should get the shoe box because "dill, silly" really IS the best answer of all.
And Lisa's joke blew right over my head. Duh!
BTW...Wisconsin is almost Canada.
You know what else? I was born in Utica, NY. That's only three or four hours drive from Canada. So what the hell. I'm Canadian, too.
Oh Can-a-da.
Our hockey sticks are held so high.
Oh Can-a-da.
A puck just hit me in the eye.
Oh Can-a-da.
Zambonis, moose and winter squalls.
Oh Can-a-da.
A puck just hit me in the...
Definitely Mustard seeds!
Wow ... !!
I missed so much but know nothing about pickles. I did smile my way through the Bush stuff, difficult to imagine the key on the Canadian hockey song recital ... perhaps that's for the best.
I'm not at my sparkling best anyway(hush, I like to imagine a sparkle sometimes) antibiotics are making me feel like the creature from the dark lagoon ... I can't even look at a bottle of wine ... true misery.
sometimes those yellow balls are baby onions :) but they're bigger balls and i wouldn't pour them down the sink *giggle*
Haha. Loved your version of the Canadian hymn!
19 comments on a pickle post. Whoo!
And the Canada hynm is great. My kids would love it. :-)
Oh, my, god. Ohio has been salvaged from ruin by that single post. Maybe we don't get enough Bush jokes in BCN, but DAMN that was a good laugh!!!
And in Canada, our balls are bigger (CFL), so pucks do hit them more often ;).
The Expatriator - Thank you for your support - half (- 100,000) of us Ohioans need it.
One more pickle thought:
Arlo Guthrie's, "The Motorcycle Song"
words and music by Arlo Guthrie
CHORUS:
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle
It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:
CHORUS
This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle.
Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin'
my guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a
mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was
a cliff in the air.
Now, when you're going down a mountain road at I50 miles
an hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin'
a guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar.
Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater
on the box side than on the neck side, because there's
more guitar on the box side. I wasn't payin' attention ..
Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff.
I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down
at the same time.
I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said ''Wow! Some
trip". I thought it...well I knew it was...I knew it was my last
trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world,I decided
to write one last farewell song to the world.
Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper.
I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin':
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy ...cle."
I knew that, it wasn't the best song l ever wrote, but I didn't
have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast.
But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I
landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away
on the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin'
175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song.
I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around
the corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned
itself off.
I walked over to my friend. He was standin' there eatin'
pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the
eye and said "Nothin'".
You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just
squashed a cop...
CHORUS
-- DJG
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