Thursday, February 02, 2006

NAME THAT SMOKER!


It has been brought to my attention that every BBQ pitmaster must give his smoker a name.

Well...my smoker doesn’t have a name. But I’m opening the floor for suggestions.

There are no restrictions as to the gender or raunchiness of the name. The person submitting the winning entry will be treated to a multi-course BBQ dinner that may or may not include Haggis Churros, but will surely include one or more wee drams of Cardhu whisky. Oh yeah...airplane tickets are not included.

If *nobody* suggests a name, then I will choose it. How? By writing the names of the sixteen of you who regularly post Comments to this blog (i.e., Ang, Mausi, Beep, Granny Jo, Lady Di, Euro-Trac, Hippo, Big Finn, Franje, ChicagoKarl, Fran, GC, Harsh, KickShoe, Iron Man and The Original CowPie) on separate pieces of paper, dumping them into a hat, and drawing one.

That's right. Unless somebody comes up with a clever suggestion, I'm going to name my smoker after one of you. You don't want that to happen, do you?

35 Comments:

At 6:57 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

I think the prize could be negotiated ... surely, since I and others don't live in Spain and you have clearly indicated a lack of interest in paying an airfare ...
Oh so mean Mr Sal.

Having raised this issue regarding the negotiation of said prize, I shall go off and think of a suitable name ...

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger euro-trac said...

Keith

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger euro-trac said...

or Norman!

 
At 7:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "Vanha mies jolla on puujalka."

- Heikki -

 
At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Karl said...

A suggestion to get my name off the list:

Pepe le BBQ

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger christina said...

No restrictions as to gender or raunchiness, eh? Nothing PG13 about THIS blog. :-)

Hmmm...how about "PorkMeister"?

Or "Salivator"?

Just trying to save you from having to call it "Mausi" for all eternity. What would the neighbours think?

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger euro-trac said...

Winston or Churchill or Winston Chuchill.... he was quite a famous smoker.
****
Pedro.
****
Steve. (That's my tumble dryer's name)

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Colin Minion said...

A Hint of Winter Sunshine.

How appropriate, my verification word began with "bbq."

- Colin

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

tumble-dryer's name ... ?

hmmm, what kind of crowd have i fallen in with ...

i mean there's 'sal's pal' however it's not my best offer. i am consuming a bottle of spanish red in the interests of creating a really good prize-winning offer.

the things i do ... tsk tsk tsk

 
At 10:23 PM, Blogger The Big Finn said...

FYI...English translation of Heikki's comment: old man who has a wooden foot. BTW...Heikki was the name of my imaginary friend when I was something like three years old. Ahhhhh....repressed childhood memories.
DAMN!!! Salivator is sooo good! It should have been mine!
My name vote: Big Dick! Because...he kind of looks like...well, you know.

 
At 10:29 PM, Blogger Jeff Pioquinto,SJ said...

NICE BLOG. THANKS

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Friends! We are off to a great start.

Lady Di: You're in Belgium, for God's sake! You can walk here! As for "Sal's Pal"...please keep drinking that bottle of red and try again in an hour.

Euro-Trac: I like "Winston Churchill" (or just plain "Winston"). Keith, Norman or Steve...I think I'll save those in case I should ever decide to manage a boy band.

Heikki: OK, OK...it's confession time. I actually posted the Anonymous "Heikki" comment. Why? Because I wanted to see if The Big Finn could speak Finnish. And yes...his translation is 100% correct. As I've mentioned to some of you in the past, my employer has a large subsidiary in Espoo (with a research facility in Oulu) and I interact with Finns on a daily basis. If you look in my August 2005 archive under at post called "The Crosby Show," you'll see the original reference to Vanha mies jolla on puujalka. Congrats, Big Finn. You're now an official member of the VTB Viking Club...and I don't even care that you were schooled in Evanston, Illinois.

Colin: " A Hint of Winter Sunshine" is a good suggestion. But "A Hit of Summer Moonshine" would've scored you a lot more bonus points.

Big Finn: "Big Dick?" That does seem oddly appropriate. Especially when you think about the elements of barbecue: Meat; Wood; Dry or Wet Rub; Pork Butt; etc.

Jeff: Thanks for the comment. You're not trying to sell us something, are you?

And finally...

Christina: You! You're good! "The Salivator!" Absolute brilliance. That is so many light years ahead of the competition, I'm almost tempted to end the contest and declare victory right now. But I'll give it one more day. "The Salivator!" Man, that's good!

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger euro-trac said...

Oscar (as in Wilde) Only I just noticed British Wit as one of your interests!?
***
Of course you're right.. Salivator is good! Very Good! (although I don't have a problem with Keith or Steve myself..)
***
Or Christina?? That would be nice.. and she's a very good cook! :-)
***
Wandering Woman - you are currently drinking a bottle of red wine, trying to think of a name for someone else's BBQ thing... and you think it's odd to have Steve the tumble dryer?? Hehehe!
***
and finally...Sal,
"I'll be in your shoes three years from now!!" Man, I'm looking forward to seeing those pictures!

 
At 4:24 AM, Blogger Nyana said...

How about

Mr. Burns? or Mr. Buns?

your pick! I love your website by the way. Will definitely check your adventures frequently.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger christina said...

Yes, I am good. Thank you.

You mean I may have a chance of winning? Then what the heck am I doing stuck in this place? I could have had a career in advertising!

I figure if I start walking now, I could be in your backyard by Easter. :-)

And...because everyone has been working so hard on this one, we all deserve an "I interact with Finns on a daily basis" T-shirt. That would confuse people nicely...

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Angie said...

When is the deadline for this contest? I work better with a deadline hanging over my head.

Not that I think I can beat "the Salivator," but something might come to me over the weekend.

I am partial to Karl's "Pepe le BBQ" as well!

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous jrpfeff said...

Sal,

You put me to shame. My smoker's been in the family without a name for 25 years. I'm working on something cruelly offensive to name it.

You may use Pavlov for yours (think about it). I'm going in a different direction.

Jim

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Ang: Just what you need. Another deadline, eh? OK, I'll set the contest deadline at 10am (Chicago time) on Monday. Although you're right about "The Salivator" being tough to beat.

Ang and Karl: "Pepe le BBQ" is indeed a good suggestion. But I'd tweak it a bit: "Pepe le Q!" Sorry, but I'm a frustrated editor in a frustrated lawyer's body.

Christina: Given the nature of BBQ, if I start cooking now...it probably wouldn't be ready until Easter. As for a mass-distribution of "I work with Finns on a daily basis" T-shirts...sorry. A shirt like that must be earned.

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

Well, in my defense euro-trac ... okay, there's no defense beyond wanting a bottle of red and feeling awed by the ease with which Salivator rolled out from Christina.

Naming your dryer 'Steve' ... I guess if your relationship with your tumble dryer is such that you want to name 'him' I should bow to your superior skills in the of tumble drying ... I never did enough with a dryer to feel that kind of soul connection with one.

Clearly it is I who lacks, and I would like to retract my former question regarding the type of crowd I have fallen in with and will embrace the 'creativity' and slight hint of insanity found here instead. If the glove fits, it's better to wear it ... specially in winter in Belgium.

Sigh ... still thinking, and very happy with the extended deadline.

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger euro-trac said...

Oh yes! She's one clever lady that Christina.. Not only has she got this naming thing sewn up, but have you noticed her score in the Haggis Bashing!? :-)

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger christina said...

euro-trac - you are much too sweet! I think we should run off together. ;-)

 
At 11:58 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

euro-trac, i wrote a retraction regarding my lack of respect towards 'appliances' due to finding both both ralf the dishwasher and steve the tumble-dryer writing in my comments box ... i think i have soothed their little metal foreheads.

 
At 12:01 AM, Blogger Culinary Fool said...

The problem with living on the west coast of the US is that Happy Hour comes so much later here! But I am about to rectify that - I will be swilling something in the next hour or so and then I'll work on coming up with a name for the little R2D2 look alike.... or maybe not but who will care at that point?

~ b

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Franje said...

Why not give it the same name I have given to my motorcycle, my computer, my lawnmower, etc...Catherine.

She was my French teacher, and yowza, was she smokin' hot...like a BBQ. :):)

 
At 8:40 AM, Anonymous sp said...

"Mary", the mother of all...

Smokers.

You could keep with the Spanish theme and use, "Maria".

-your friendly blog stalker/admirer

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Franje: "Catherine?" As in "Catherine the Great?" Boy...your motorcycle must have a lot of horsepower. :-0

SP: Oh boy! My very first stalker. Now I feel like Julia Roberts. "Maria" is indeed a fine name. But there are 254 women in my neighbor, and 253 are named Maria. The other is named Ana Maria. So...I think I might face a certain amount of danger if, in the midst of a really bad smoke, I should scream, "Maria! You big, black, sheet-metal hunk of crap!!!"

Sal

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger hippo_pepperpot said...

I think Sherman is pretty good.

How about Shelly?

 
At 5:56 PM, Anonymous sp said...

Oh Sal,

But look at it this way, they might just think that you are a "good Catholic boy". Can't you see this now, "Oh, please Maria, smoke these babies like they were meant to be."; or "Mary! Don't fail me now. I have faith in your powers! Praise the Lord"?

-your blog stalker/admirer ("ybsa")*

* harmless and fairly sane, of course

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

Hi Sir Sal

I was thinking ... I kind of like 'Mi Pequeno' ('my little one', with suitable dots over the 'n') referencing Gollum and his overwhelming love for the Ring.

Or, 'Mi Amigo' ... forgive me for mistranslation of 'mi' if male and female alterations are necessary.

I wanted to tap into the affection you feel for this chicken-browning piece of metal ...

Kindest regards
Di

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger GC PHILO said...

In the Czech Republic, "to smoke" is also slang for giving someone oral sex. A Czech buddy of mine was telling me about one of his earliest sexual experiences when a girl that he had recently met went down on his and held his penis like a cigar and actually "smoked" it! He looked at her and said, "Umm, baby... I don't think that's how it's done..."

That aside, call the BBQ Smokey Robinson - or Ralph

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

GC:

Thank you for passing-on that nugget of oral history. Perhaps it's the onset of middle-age, but I think I'd prefer a plate of brisket with a side of cole slaw.

Sal

 
At 11:50 PM, Blogger Kath said...

Dear Salamander, Seeing as how we play the 'sal' game on email every day, I'm going to pass on that particular route.
How about 'Clinton'?
xXx
Kathater

 
At 4:10 AM, Anonymous Jo said...

Smokin' Jo, one Granny Greater

Granny Web

Granny-Jo-Smoker

::grin:: Awww, go ahead, name it after me! ::wink:: By the by, the Q around here is liberally soused with vinegar. Wonderful with pulled pork, I need to try it with chicken though. I still prefer Georgia & Florida Q which combines mustard and vinegar...

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Katheter: It's about damn time that you've popped in here! Although I suppose you get your fill of me during working hours. As for "Clinton"...it's a good suggestion. Close, but no cigar.

Granny Jo (who I keep wanting to call "Granny Smith"): I haven't yet tried the Carolina vinegar-based and mustard-based sauces. Can you believe that? I've been strictly a KC-style, tomato-based sauce dude. But I'll be venturing forth into those uncharted territories soon. And I have the cookbooks to prove it.

Sal

 
At 5:15 AM, Anonymous Jo said...

::laughing:: Granny Smith huh? Well, if you ever slip up, I'll know who/what you mean. ;o) Now that we are here, there are TONS of sauces that are all vinegar based. I'm going to have to run a few tests of my own. The vingar mustard from further south is something I have never even come close to reproducing though I have tried many times. When we get settled and I have time to work towards some other goal than getting settled, I have a notion forming in my kitty brain to send out some "North Carolina" boxes to you and some other folks strategically located around the plant. Nothing big or fancy, just sort of an experiment to see the reactions. Nothing may come of it mind you. My other blog buddies will tell you that I have lots more going on in my brain than my body or bank account can follow up on. But, hey, what happens when you stop thinking?

 

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