UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.

Spanish homes have three common traits: (a) terra cotta roofing tiles; (b) plastered stucco walls; and (c) a water-filled Evian® bottle strategically-placed before the front door.

This latter point has perplexed me for years.

I’ve observed this bizarre sociological phenomenon in dozens—perhaps hundreds—of Spanish homes. I’ve seen it in Barcelona. I’ve seen it in Alicante. And as the photo above attests, I saw it this morning in Cabanillas del Campo. Some folk take it a step further, and place a bottle in front of each basement window.

But, why?! I’ve analyzed it from every conceivable angle…yet still cannot rationalize it.

* Are these bottles a humanitarian offering to thirsty Bedouins that pass in the night? I doubt it. One rarely sees camels roaming the streets of Spain, except during Three Wise Men’s Day parades—and even then, I’m fairly certain that those men on camels have had plenty to drink already.

* Do they function as an early warning system for seismic activity? Perhaps slight ripples in the bottles’ water means that tectonic plates are shifting. Nah. Spaniards aren’t concerned about the forces of nature, unless a soccer game is at stake.

* Could it be voodoo? Perhaps these bottles threaten door-to-door salesmen with a frightening curse. If your knuckles so much as touch that door, you WILL retain water.

None of these hypotheses satisfied, so I asked Mrs. Virtual Tapas Bar. It seemed like a good idea. After all, her pedigree clearly states that she is Spanish. It also states that she hasn’t been declawed; which is not relevant to the water-bottle question—but is extremely relevant if you are a door-to-door salesman. Her answer was insightful: “I have no idea.”

So…I am forced to ask you—the readers—to help me crack this case. Does anybody know why Spaniards put bottles of water before the front doors of their homes?

Lenox?

Fernie?

Marta?

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?