YO! IT'S A SMALL WORLD, AFTER ALL.

My abysmal track record on 007 blogging isn't solely attributed to colossal laziness--although that's certainly a major factor. No...I can also blame it on travel.

My daughter, Pumpkin, and I spent last week at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Sure, EuroDisney is closer...but there are no Waffle Houses, Cracker Barrels or Shoney's in France.

To some of us, that's a deal-breaker.

We flew from Madrid to Miami, and enjoyed a SIX HOUR lay-over at Miami International Airport--the highlight of which was the Pizza Hut personal pan pizza and $8 (EIGHT DOLLARS!!!) pint of Samuel Adams that I inhaled like a death row inmate while Pumpkin slept in her stroller at Gate D36.

We then took a one hour flight to Orlando, and arrived at our rented house in Kissimee at 2am--which, according to my body clock, was 7am. Twelve members of my family from Chicago were waiting for us at the house. Eleven of them were waiting in bed...asleep.

But the Disney empire waits for no man; regardless of his state of physical exhaustion. We therefore leaped out of bed at 6:30am the next morning (which amounted to three hours sleep for me; nearly twelve hours for Pumpkin) and made a bee-line for the Magic Kingdom.

Disney World's Orlando facility has four main parks: Magic Kingdom (the most kid-friendly of the bunch); Epcot (the most adult-friendly, IMO); MGM Studios (nice, but my least favorite of the bunch); and Animal Kingdom (a great park...not only does it have a mind-blowing reproduction of Mt. Everest, but also a BBQ stand that serves pulled pork).


Pumpkin bought a new hat during the first hour of the first morning, and didn't take it off for the rest of the week.

She bought something else every hour of every day for the rest of the week.

If you're between 3 and 83 and can't have fun at Disney World, there is something seriously wrong with you. Despite the $50 corn dogs, it's a really cool place to bring kids.

Cool for adults, too. The Magic Kingdom's "Rock and Roll Roller Coaster"--which accelerates from 0 to 60 in less than three seconds--won the Fat Sal family's "Best of Show Award" hands-down.

I do need, however, to mention one observation that I found a bit shocking. The Disney parks rent motorized wheelchairs, and they rent a lot of them. However, quite a few of those that I saw driving those wheelchairs were not "handicapped" as that word is commonly interpreted. They were obese. I mean profoundly, morbidly obese--and some of them were clearly younger than I am.

I've never been to EuroDisney, but I suspect that this obesity epidemic doesn't exist there. And if that's the case, then I think it's clear where the finger of blame must be pointed.

At Waffle House, Cracker Barrel and Shoney's.