Tuesday, January 23, 2007


It's January, and that means one thing: Acme Low Carb Tongue Depressors, Inc.'s annual EMEA Sales Conference.

This year's edition wasn't in Scotland. It was in London; from where I've just returned.

Pictured above is your Virtual Tapas Bartender and his [strictly platonic] friend, Lisa Marie, taking part in the Conference's most important session--a game of cricket at the historic Lord's Cricket Ground.

Unfortunately, our game of cricket--and please, don't ask me to explain the rules...because they remain incomprehensible even after the Lord's staff's patient explanation--and planned post-game guided tour were interrupted when that well-publicized wind storm swept in and literally blew the roof off of much of the facility.

Pity, indeed. But at least I walked away with a sporty, new sweater.

Next stop was a round-trip journey--complete with Champagne and...well, more Champagne!--on the absurdly enormous London Eye ferris wheel.

Although the damn thing is 443 feet high, I felt surprisingly calm throughout much of the journey.

Unfortunately...around the time when our glass-encased cabin had reached an altitude of 441 feet, it suddenly occurred to me that London (i.e., *this* London...not London, Ontario) has been on the receiving end of an uncomfortably ambitious streak of hardcore terrorism lately.

A realization that, perhaps, goes a long way toward explaining why the photos below seem a wee bit unsteady.

But the boondoggle wasn't all fun and games. We focused--and focused intently--on a number of presentations discussing the present state of the low carb tongue depressor market and its projected trends.

At least, some of "we" focused intently on the market information. Others of "we" were more on the lookout for new and amusing corporate buzzwords. And, I'm pleased to announce, my favorite of the bunch was the following:


Noun or verb? I vote for verb...which would indeed describe, with frightening accuracy, how many Finance Departments throughout the world manage their companies' coffers. [But certainly not Acme's.]

And so, with yet another EMEA Sales Conference under my belt, I've returned to my home office for eleven more months of dotting "i's"...crossing "t's"...and lovingly running my fingertips over Felix's G-string.

Who or what is "Felix?"

My next post will tell all. ;-)


At 4:20 PM, Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

LOL! I'm not sure what a terrorist would want to achieve in London Ontario, anyway.

I have a feeling that Felix would appeal to the musically talented, or to developing musical talents, no?

At 11:16 PM, Blogger christina said...

Well pip pip and cheerio and all that, old chap. You two look absolutely smashing in your cricket sweaters.

And I sure hope that C Swiss is right about Felix and his G-string or else Sal is going to have a LOT of explaining to do about this new hobby of his. :-D

At 11:46 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

Oh man, first Mausi, now you ... I can't sing, I daren't stroke that g-string.

At 2:59 AM, Blogger Kim/Thomas said...

NICE sweater!! very preppy indeed!

At 5:18 PM, Blogger Pam said...

Budget flush could be that glow one gets after, um, completing the budget. "Anyone can tell what you've been up to, you're radiant with budget flush."

Those sweaters are, well, wow.

At 10:35 PM, Blogger woman wandering said...

That aint no 'sweater' ... it's a cricket jersey, worn by some of the more stunning men in the world ... namely kiwis and australians ;)

At 11:02 PM, Blogger Chris said...

That ferris wheel would have had me stroking out, since I have an incredible fear of heights. Great pictures though:)

One word of warning though...when people say things like "strictly platonic", others take that with as much sincerity as pro atheletes saying that "it's not about the money" :)

Have a great weekend!
My Blog

At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


That's all I can say to you visiting London and not buying me a beer!

Yeah, I know I have been a bit unsociable my self of late, so I shall let you off just this time!!

But don't think you will get away with not buying me a drink if I find myself near your part of the world though! :O)

Funny, I can see the London Eye in my London view, but have never been on it!?

I shall drop by again soon old chap! Despite the fact that your word verication for this is 'dippy'


At 12:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ciao Sal,
You look just smashing in your cricket get-up. Where's the first place you can wear that "jersey" again? Hope it isn't anywhere near a restaurant selling spaghetti... you'd be asking for it, all that whiteness!

I heard that the low carb tongue depressor market is really going to take off this year... don't forget about the little people who "knew you when you were just a humble cricket player..."


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