HERE'S MUD IN YOUR LONDON EYE.

It's January, and that means one thing: Acme Low Carb Tongue Depressors, Inc.'s annual EMEA Sales Conference.

This year's edition wasn't in Scotland. It was in London; from where I've just returned.

Pictured above is your Virtual Tapas Bartender and his [strictly platonic] friend, Lisa Marie, taking part in the Conference's most important session--a game of cricket at the historic Lord's Cricket Ground.

Unfortunately, our game of cricket--and please, don't ask me to explain the rules...because they remain incomprehensible even after the Lord's staff's patient explanation--and planned post-game guided tour were interrupted when that well-publicized wind storm swept in and literally blew the roof off of much of the facility.

Pity, indeed. But at least I walked away with a sporty, new sweater.


Next stop was a round-trip journey--complete with Champagne and...well, more Champagne!--on the absurdly enormous London Eye ferris wheel.

Although the damn thing is 443 feet high, I felt surprisingly calm throughout much of the journey.

Unfortunately...around the time when our glass-encased cabin had reached an altitude of 441 feet, it suddenly occurred to me that London (i.e., *this* London...not London, Ontario) has been on the receiving end of an uncomfortably ambitious streak of hardcore terrorism lately.

A realization that, perhaps, goes a long way toward explaining why the photos below seem a wee bit unsteady.




But the boondoggle wasn't all fun and games. We focused--and focused intently--on a number of presentations discussing the present state of the low carb tongue depressor market and its projected trends.

At least, some of "we" focused intently on the market information. Others of "we" were more on the lookout for new and amusing corporate buzzwords. And, I'm pleased to announce, my favorite of the bunch was the following:

"BUDGET FLUSH!!!"

Noun or verb? I vote for verb...which would indeed describe, with frightening accuracy, how many Finance Departments throughout the world manage their companies' coffers. [But certainly not Acme's.]

And so, with yet another EMEA Sales Conference under my belt, I've returned to my home office for eleven more months of dotting "i's"...crossing "t's"...and lovingly running my fingertips over Felix's G-string.

Who or what is "Felix?"

My next post will tell all. ;-)