THE MALTA CONFERENCE.

I’ve just returned from the island of Malta, where my employer—which I shall fictitiously call “Acme Low Carb Tongue-Depressors, Inc.” in order to avoid getting my ass fired—held its annual Europe/MiddleEast/Africa (EMEA) sales conference.

The conference was notable in that a clear vision and sales strategy were laid-out for all to internalize. It was also notable in that the term “value proposition” was used a whopping 497 times throughout the various presentations; followed closely by “driving revenue” (325 times), “core competencies” (234 times) and “sales cycle” (187 times). Lamentably, the term “sleep cycle” wasn’t uttered once by conference organizers.

As with other sales conferences I’ve attended, the event was as much about withstanding the rigors of sleep deprivation and liver abuse as it was about energizing the sales force. And when it comes to those two former categories, the Irish attendees proved—once again—that they are without peers.

I snapped the above photo during one of the conference’s break-out sessions. This particular group of colleagues had—the previous night—foolishly assumed that the choice of Malta as a venue meant that they should drink all the malt beverages that the hotel bar could supply.