AND NOW FOR A MOMENT OF SHAMELESSLY MOCKING MY OWN PEOPLE.

Last Sunday, I was in the English-language section of a Madrid bookstore called “Casa de Libro.”

I was crouched on the floor, holding a hardcover edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and debating—with my cheapskate inner-self—the pro’s and con’s of spending 12€ on the book vs. spending the rest of the weekend watching my nails grow.

Then, from behind, I heard the pitter-patter of footsteps—followed a brief interchange that was rendered in the unmistakable nasally tones of two college-aged American girls. It went something like this:

GIRL #1: Oh my God! This is sooooooooo going to be my airplane book!

GIRL #2: Not me! I am going to crrrrrrrrrrash!

…whereupon I opted to spend the 12€ on a set of 3M® polystyrene earplugs and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol®.