Tuesday, November 21, 2006

AND NOW FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF...“OUT THAT LURKER!”


A “lurker” is a person who habitually reads a blog, but never comments.

In a sense, he’s the digital equivalent of that creepy guy behind the one-way mirror in a WalMart dressing room.

Now...in a perfect world, being a lurker here at the VTB should be a secure, relaxing activity—with said lurker being comfortably wrapped in the warm, cozy cloak of his own impenetrable anonymity.

But alas, the VTB world is far from perfect. Why? Because that little Site Meter box at the bottom of my blog knows all...and tells all.

What does it tell me?

Well...it tells me the city and country in which every reader of this VTB sits, how long was his visit, how many pages he viewed, and which Google search words got him here. And let me tell ya...that latter nugget of information can be pretty darn interesting. ;-)

So...with that background information in hand, I am pleased to announce a new VTB segment called, “Out that Lurker!”

That’s right...every now and again, I am going “out” whichever lurker has grabbed my attention of late. And today’s outting victim is...

THAT GUY OR GIRL FROM TALLIN, HARJUMAA, ESTONIA!

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to *you*! Stop looking over your shoulder! There’s only one person from Estonia who ever reads my blog. So...if you’re reading this and there's a snowmobile in your driveway with Estonian license plates, then congratulations! You’ve just been outted.

Now, get your ass over to the VTB Chat Lounge and introduce yourself. No need to give your name or political affiliation, but at least tell us what is your favorite candy bar and whether you have a tattoo.

And don’t worry if English isn’t your native language. Here at the VTB, we speak only the language of love.

And COCONUT!

12 Comments:

At 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha!!! Nice post...

Love, Coconut and Elvis of course! :O)
x

 
At 12:24 AM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Well...according to my Site Meter box, our Estonian friend entered the VTB an hour ago. He read this post. And then left.

No Comment. No candy bar confession. No tattoo disclosure.

It appears that the VTB Love Train has been temporarily derailed. But I remain undaunted.

Our Estonian friend has won the battle, but not the war.

We *will* prevail. We *will* coax him out of his shell. Our Estonian friend *will* bow his head to the Sacred Altar of the Divine COCONUT. Or else...

...I'll just find another lurker to out. There are plenty more out there.

Right, Mr. or Ms. New York City checking in from the Associated Press's server?

Sal

 
At 1:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Figured I might as well post since I haven't in a while & technically can be considered a *lurker*!

Happy Thanksgiving (will you be celebrating in any fashion in Spain??)

 
At 5:07 AM, Blogger Kim/Thomas said...

Hi it's Kim, I'm normally a lurker, just cause I'm too lazy to try to make up as interesting of a comment as some of your commenters...I'll try harder..so I'm not mistaken for a "lurker"..
Hey question...I have an anon that left a weird message, is it possible to out that person??
thanks! love coconuts and i have no tattoos, except the kind that rub on!:)

 
At 7:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I´m almost sorry to say that I´m the creepy Estonian lurker... :P Must I now confess how and why I got here and why I´ve been checking up on your blog on daily basis?

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Hey Estonian Lurker! Welcome in from the cold. Sorry to single you out, but you should take it as a compliment. When I saw "Estonia" popping-up every day, I just had to know. So...now that you are an officially-designated VTB VIP, I hope we'll hear more from you. And if you want to confess how you found us and why you check us out on a daily basis, we'd love to hear it. I suspect, however, that it was the "Madrid Sauna Bar" post that brought you here in the first place. Right? Right? BTW...you're not creepy. It's the guy at WalMart who is creepy.

Kim: If you go to the Site Meter website, you can register for their hit counter service (free). They'll give you a chunk of source code that you'll add to your template. Once that is up and running, you can access the Site Meter website and see details about the people who read your blog. You won't be able to see details about that weird message, because it was before you activitated your account. But if he should ever come back, then you'll have the details.

Tatiana: Ok, thanks. You are off my hit list for another month or so.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger christina said...

I'm not a lurker, just a stalker. :-)

 
At 11:08 AM, Anonymous cream said...

Spooooooooooky!
Sounds like big brother's watching us!

 
At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But Sal... perhaps they can't read English and only pop by to see your coconuts!?

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous tinakala, the Estonian lurker said...

Hi,
a couple words about myself. (Gosh, that sounds like "English for beginners" course). My employer is Fish Murderers Inc. and I proudly pose as the Executive BS Tester for their 3 companies. `nuff said.

I enjoy your blog, Sal, with the coconuts and all. It is safely tucked in my IE "Favourites" and during my coffee brake I sometimes click on the link and say to myself quietly (Hannibal Lecter-like) "Sa-al. Hi Sa-al".

How I got here. I will probably be moving to Southern Spain in a year or so if all goes as planned. I had to do some research. After typing "life in spain blog expat" , i got all sorts of info. Expatica Spain had your article and I found your blog. Tadaa!

BTW it`s not that cold here yet. Around zero Celsius. The`re promising tons of snow for Christmas though.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Trac:

What?!!! You can see my coconuts on the Internet?!

 
At 3:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont really eat chocolate but i dont mind twix and my tattoo is a bunny skull and crossbones with hearts and stars : )

 

Post a Comment

<< Home