Sunday, November 12, 2006

AND NOW FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF..."GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN ELVIS SONGS."

Critiquing the grammar in Elvis songs is something that has been floating around my brain for years.

I was just waiting for the right moment (i.e., a moment when I had nothing more interesting or intelligent about which to write).

Well, that moment has arrived. So...at the risk of incurring the wrath of Trac, I give you the first installment of "Grammatical Errors in Elvis Songs!"

Love me tenderLY, ["TENDER" IS AN ADVERB, ELVIS. IT REQUIRES THE SUFFIX “-LY.”]
Love me sweetLY, [OH DEAR, ANOTHER PESKY ADVERB.]
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
And I love you so
[“I LOVE YOU” SO WHAT? SO DEEPLY? SO OBSESSIVELY? SO COCONUTILY?].

Love me tenderLY, [JESUS! DIDN’T I JUST CORRECT THIS SAME ERROR?]
Love me trueLY, [LOOK...NOW I'M STARTING TO GET PISSED-OFF.]
All my dreams ARE fulfilled. [OH GREAT! NOW WE’RE TREATING VERBS AS OPTIONAL, TOO?]
For my darlin'G I love you, ["DARLIN'?!" HEY, ELVIS...I KNOW YOU'RE FROM MISSISSIPPI AND ALL, BUT...]
And I always will.

Love me tenderLY, [ARGHH!!! LOLLY’S, LOLLY’S, LOLLY’S...GET YOUR ADVERBS THERE… LEARN IT! LIVE IT!]
Love me long, ["LONG?!" DO MEAN, "LENGTHILY?"]
Take me to your heart.
For it’s there that I belong,
[WELL...AT LEAST HE USED THE PROPER CONTRACTION OF "IT IS."]
And we’ll never part.

Love me tenderLY, [I'M NOT READING ANYMORE. I AM NOT READING ANYMORE!]
Love me dearLY, [GRRRRR...!]
Tell me you are mine.
I’ll be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.

When at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go.
[WOW! AN ENTIRE VERSE WITH NO GRAMMATICAL ERRORS! MAYBE THAT OL' BOY IS LEARIN' GOODER THAN I THOUGHT?]

12 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Blogger Kurt said...

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark, and guess that Sal likes Umberto Eco...what with yer fancy book-learnin and all! :)

But in all fairness to the King, translating his songs from the original German couldn't have been easy for him hehe.

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Ms Mac said...

Oh Lordy. Can you do something about Space's The Female of the Species. I am quite sure that bloke is singing, "The female of the species is more deadlier than the male". Love the tune, hate, hate, hate that chorus.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger christina said...

Well it's about time. As an English teacher I applaud this monumental undertaking. You could be busy for years!

 
At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watch out Sal! Trac will definiteLY get upset with your dissection of her King!

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Kurt: I like Umberto very much. He's a nice guy, and makes a good sauce. However, I've never read any of his books. Thanks for the vote of confidence, however.

BTW...ain't Nina Hagen the greatest?! Although my mother would be horrified if I were to bring her home.

Ms. Mac: "Space?" Uhhh...my musical development ended with Three Dog Night. I've never heard of Space, but assume that most parents of teenagers have.

Christina: It's a far easy task that deconstructing Snoop Dog.

Cream: I live to torment Trac. She's like a sister to me. Younger sister.

COCONUT!

 
At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a far easy task? heh heh...nice one Sal. I was gonna ask you to correct some grammar papers my students did but on second thoughts....;O)

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Sal DeTraglia said...

Guilty as charged, Wendz. I have a tendency not to proofread unless I'm being paid for it. This VTB Chat Lounge really, REALLY needs an "Edit" function. I noticed the error three nanoseconds after hitting "Publish."

"It's a far easIER task..."

I be sorry.

COCONUT!
Sal

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't sorry - I do it too - far more than I like really...anyway - you're half-human/half-coconut so we understand.:O)

COCONUT to you too.

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sal - Horrified is an understatement!

Big Mamma

 
At 10:48 PM, Blogger Kurt said...

I played the Nina Hagen version of My Way for my Mom once, thinking that since she was a big Elvis fan, she would get a kick out of someone covering one of his songs in a modern style. Boy was I wrong hehe...she couldn't hide the look of horror on her face.

Based on your writing style here, I'd highly recommend Eco's Baudolino...it's quite funny. Though I don't recall any coconut being present in the novel :)

 
At 11:02 PM, Blogger christina said...

Now, I'm just wondering what Nina Hagen's mom would say if Nina brought *Sal* home.

 
At 1:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's hilarious! For more than 28 years my hubby has been correcting those pesky "ly" adverbs and has always sung Elvis songs with the corrections!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home