SMOKELESS IN SPAIN.
Pasted below is an unedited reproduction of the email that I sent to Weber Barbeque's Customer Support Department last night after, perhaps, one too many glasses of wine.
With all due sincerity, I've been a hard-core fanatic of Weber's products for over twenty years—which makes my current dilemma all the more painful.
Dear Weber Customer Support:
I am an American citizen living in Spain. What does that mean? It means that I understand the importance of smoked brisket, yet live in a country that doesn't.
Still, I wasn't worried. Why? Because I knew that once I had a Weber Smokey Mountain Cooker, I could simply smoke all the brisket that I needed.
But I was wrong. I contacted A.N.M.I. (Weber's distributor in Spain) and naively asked, "Which of your retailers sells Weber Smokey Mountain Cookers?"
Their response: "We don't sell Smokey Mountain Cookers in Spain."
Let me repeat this so that you fully comprehend the magnitude of my problem: WEBER'S SPANISH DISTRIBUTOR DOESN'T IMPORT SMOKEY MOUNTAIN COOKERS!
As I struggle to control my emotions at this moment, I'd like to ask you for some advice: How can I get my hands on a Weber Smokey Mountain Cooker?!!! Is there anything you can do to help? Is there any string that you can pull?! Is there any rule that you can bend?! C'mon! I'm not asking for a case of Cuban cigars sent to Cincinnati! Or a personalized walking tour of Sacramento by Roman Polanski! All I want is to obtain (and YES...to PAY for) a Smokey Mountain Cooker for my home in Spain.
Don't help me for commercial reasons. HELP ME FOR HUMANITARIAN REASONS!!!
My fate is in your hands. Save me from a lifetime of baked chicken breast!!!
Any advice on your part would be most appreciated.